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Secrets

by Campfire Conspiracy

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Distracted EP, Secrets, and Demo. , and , .

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1.
Prelude 03:00
I’m on a fast track to irrelevance. This is a prelude to a mid-life crisis. Is this really the life that I thought I was living? Is this really the path that I want to be taking? Is this really the air that I should be breathing? Am I living in misery of my own making? I can’t go back and change my path. Why can’t I see this is my destiny? Oh what have I become? What is the meaning of this life? I don’t think I’ll ever know. Oh, to open my eyes. My life is slipping by and I still haven’t felt like I’m alive. I know I will get through this. Trust me, I will get through this. Make sure I don’t forget this. So fuck this mid-life crisis! Am I living up to my highest potential? Have I tried my best on all I could handle? Have I forgotten the moments in my life that are special? Am I feeling thankful? Am I feeling grateful for everything that I’ve received? But I’m afraid I’m gonna miss something. So fuck this mid-life crisis!
2.
Not to Blame 03:40
I'll never be what you want me to be. I’ll never see what you want me to see. You yell at me without knowing my name. You think the world has no place for me. But it’s a better place with people like me. Everything went wrong, are we to blame? Just because we take responsibility? Everything went wrong are we to blame? Come on everybody let me hear you say we’re not to blame. If we stick together, we can make a change. We’re not to blame!
3.
I feel like I’m going nowhere. Things are going around me. I just have no control and this is all I know. I keep trying. I’m going nowhere. Walls keep going around me. I’m gonna gain control and this is how I’ll show. People come and go but we’ll always stick together. Some will rise and fall, but it’s gonna get better. We’ll stand up tall. We’ll stand up true. We can make it though with just me and you. So here I say, we keep on moving on. We’ll keep on singing songs. We feel like we belong so everybody just sing along.
4.
Don’t forget, promise me you will wait for me. I’ll be back, I just need space and time to myself. You said that we should talk this over. You said I gotta think it through. You said that I might forget you. I said don’t worry. Oh it hurts me to leave you all alone. All I know one thing’s for sure, I’m gonna miss you. Doubt, regret, I shouldn’t have left. What have I done? I’ll come back, just give me time. Don’t move on without me. Sometimes we make decisions irrationally based purely on emotion. I’m not afraid to admit I fucked up. But something told me I had to do this, this compelling urge to get out, to get away. It’s troubling to know how much this hurts you. But I believe the time apart will do us good. When I get back things will be better. I will be more sure of myself and I’ll truly know what I’ve been missing.
5.
It’s the weekend, yeah. I think I’ll sleep until noon. I am lazy as fuck and that’s ok because today I don’t give a shit! Now the weekend’s over. Damn, that went fast! I want to go to bed early but it’s so hard because tomorrow it’s back to the grind. Gotta start again, here we go. Keep on keepin' on, until the end! It’s only 3 days in. Feels like forever! But the weekend is almost here. It can’t get here fast enough! It’s Monday morning. Drag myself outta bed. Grab a cup of coffee and face the day ‘cause it’s time to go! Lace up my shoes. Tuck in my shirt. Can’t stay home ‘cause I gotta go to work now. It’s back to the grind. Keep on keepin' on, until the end!
6.
Here’s a story that I want you to know. I’m sick and tired of this shit that's been happening. When I turn on the TV, is what I see supposed to be reality? There’s nothing more that I want to see. I gotta say it fucking disgusts me! I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. There is a lot of people in this world. And if there is one thing I learned, you can’t please everyone. I feel like Godzilla walking on eggshells. I’m sick and tired of watching what I have to say. You blab to everyone and twist my words. I gotta say you fucking disgust me! I don’t care anymore.
7.
I could not live with what I’d done. I had no choice, it was me or him. I’ve thought it through. I’ve made up my mind. I’m gonna miss you all and everyone I’ve left behind. As I watch on the TV, our entire town is searching for me. I can see you there, with my mom crying. My dad stands there like he doesn’t care at all. This time you’ll know it’s for real. I promise you this, you won’t find me. I had no choice but to start again. Another life so far from home. I’ve made mistakes I could not undo. I think I killed that kid and it was not my fault, I swear. This time you’ll know it’s for real. I promise you this, you won’t find me. It’s not my fault. No regrets.
8.
Take Me Away 02:31
Take me away, I’m not afraid! I’m not the man you think I am. I’ve made mistakes and been beat down. But I got up and I found you. What am I supposed to do? I’ve never felt like this before. Never been scared of losing you. How did it turn out this way? I can’t believe the words you said. Soon you’ll be gone and you’ll be moving on. Let’s go back to how it use to be. Let’s go back so you can take me away.
9.
Secrets 04:15
Make no mistake about it. I’m ashamed about it. All of these secrets. These fucking secrets. You don’t wanna know what I’ve been hiding from you this whole time. I’ve got secrets, secrets you don’t know. I’ve got skeletons in my closet. I’ve got an elephant in the room. I’m sure that you resent me for all the secrets I hold from you. I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me if I could just tell you. It’s hard to live with what I’ve done. I’d rather no one knows about this. Secrets you don’t know. If I told you what I’ve done, I hope you’ll have sympathy for me. Secrets you don’t know and you don’t want to know. My hands are shaking at the thought of letting you down. My mind is racing to the point where I can’t sleep at night. My throat is closed shut as soon as I try to speak. My heart is pounding through my chest. I know you know I don’t want you to know.
10.
It’s been one hundred seventy five plus sixteen days since I was clean. I’ve been searching all along for reasons why I shouldn’t leave. I've had visions of a certainty flash before my eyes. Some people call it death but I prefer to call it home. I bleed. I cry. I fight. I scratch and claw for what I have. But all I know is fear and misery. Resist! Control! My addictions are a sickness and I can't be blamed for my own misery. My addictions are a witness to my struggle and my pain and suffering. Rings of smoke and fire surround me as I slip away into the murky depths of madness, I’ll be here to stay. Here I go again this time, I'll sink to a new low. I've got no sign of strength inside, I know I'm not alone. Suffering. I’m sick of all this pain and suffering.

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The debut album from Campfire Conspiracy!

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released June 7, 2014

All songs recorded and mixed by Campfire Conspiracy. Mastered by Adam Boose at Cauliflower Audio.

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Campfire Conspiracy Cleveland, Ohio

Pop punk from Cleveland, OH

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